Last updated 2006-12-31

I recently received this questionnaire from a friend. As I really poured my soul into answering the questions, I thought that this document would truly be useful to anyone who really wanted to learn what made me tick. The questions were so thoughtful and well-placed. I therefore decided to publish my response on my Web site. I trust you will all relish the opportunity to learn something about my innermost psyche.

I've published the original quiz unaltered (except, of course, for adding my answers), including the instructions at the end.

1. First Name: Chris

2. Were you named after anyone? Chris Mistry, an entertainer who has fascinated pagans since Jeremiah's day (see Jer. 10:2-4).

3. When did you last cry? When I still had a beloved country.

4. Do you like your handwriting? No. What are word processors for?

5. What is your favourite lunch meat? Carrots.

6. Kids? No, I don't even keep goats.

7. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Unlikely. I don't let strangers get close to me.

8. Do you have a journal? Yes, and a debtor's book.

9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who, me? Nah, never! Why would I?

10. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes. I pickled them when they were taken out.

11. Would you bungee jump? No. I experience enough raw fear in my everyday life.

12. What is your favourite cereal? Magnum PI, A-Team, Star Trek.

13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? You're not serious? I don't even unite my shoes when I'm at DNA meetings! (Note: DNA=National Association of Dyslectics).

14. Do you think you are strong? Like Wilson's. Extra Strong.

15. What is your favourite ice cream? Home-made, with alpaca milk.

16. What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they drive a BMW or not.

17. Red or pink? No.

18. What is the least favourite thing about yourself? My diary.

19. Any brothers or sisters? Yes.

20. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? No. I've already seen it.

21. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing? Grey. Grey (though they were black when I last polished them).

22. The last thing you ate? I absolutely 'ate Britney Spears music.

23. What are you listening to right now? PDQ Bach's famous Unbegun Symphony.

24. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Rainbow.

25. Favourite smell? Anything except the smell of trouble.

26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? The answering machine at the tax office.

27. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Most days.

28. Favourite drink? Ice water, on the rocks.

29. Favourite sport to watch? The one I happen to be playing at that moment.

30. Hair colour? Black, like all true Africans.

31. Eye colour? Reddish, with a yellow tinge (most days).

32. Do you wear contacts? No. I just call them when I need their help.

33. Favourite food? Snake and pygmy pie.

34. Scary movies or happy ending? Art movies (like Arnold Schwartzenegger's stuff).

35. Last movie you watched? Amadeus, the day it premiered.

36. What colour shirt are you wearing? White, with small blood stains.

37. Summer or winter? Next Friday is Spring Day, so I guess that makes it winter.

38. Hugs or kisses? Huggies.

39. Favourite dessert? Sahara.

40. Most likely to respond? My good friend Jimbo (we call him "Spambot").

41. Least likely to respond? Adolf Hitler.

42. What book are you reading? Pretoria 2005/6 Phone Book. Not much of a plot, but lots and lots of interesting characters.

43. What's on your mouse pad? Wait for this, Ladies and Gents: A mouse!

44. What time did you go to bed last night? Not at all. I only got into bed this morning.

45. Favourite sounds? Dead quiet.

46. Rolling Stones or Beatles? If I really have to roll something, it would have to be the stones. Beetles don't roll well.

47. The furthest you have been from home? 300 mm. Home is where the heart is...

49. When were you born? On my birthday. What a question.

50. Where were you born? In my mom's bed, I'm told.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... and please do not spoil the fun. Hit reply, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know including the person who sent it to you. The story is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Of course, my true motivation is to create a virus, but because I'm a pretty poor programmer, I have to rely on humans to propagate it for me.

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